Parenting Two... without a clue

If you're going to hurl... hurl in here

2012-02-02T16:51:00.002-06:00

I have several things to blog about; Potty Training, The Phase, and The Plague

But today I'm going to talk about puking. I have mentioned the awful morning sickness I had the whole time I was pregnant with Reid. But I never went into much detail. Today = detail.

Right after we found out I was pregnant, I got a cold with a cough. One morning I was at my desk at work and I coughed... and throw up all over my desk. It happened so fast I didn't even have time to bend over to the trash can. A co-worker ran to get me paper towels to clean up and I carried my trash bag full of pukey paper towels out to the dumpster. The first of many times I would carry a trash bag full of puke to the dumpster.

Still early in the pregnancy, the morning sickness lasted all day long. I would keep bags in my car so I would have something to throw up in on my drive home from work. But then the puking got worse and even though I should have been past the morning sickness phase, I was still puking.

One day I had chipotle for lunch. I love chipotle. I started throwing up so much at work I called my doctor and begged for them to either kill me or give me something to stop it. Work sent me home. I don't blame them. I filled up all my puke bags in the car, but the chipolte was still coming up. Out of bags, in desperation I emptied out a tissue box and threw up in it. In a parking lot not far from the house a crying, miserable, pregnant woman left a tissue box full of barf. I still feel bad about that. But I was a mess and didn't know what to do. If I got out to walk it to the trash I would have surely been puking in the street for all to see. So some poor sole had to clean that up. That person earned a lot of karma points that day. And chipolte has never been the same for me.

The doctor gave me some medication that reduced but did not end the vomiting. Now I was down to throwing up only once or twice a day. More on days when I received a fresh batch of hormones. And it was mostly in the evenings. The coughing never stopped. For whatever reason coughing and puking went together like peanut butter and jelly.

Which brings me to lessons I've learned about puking. If you know it's going to happen, eat foods you don't mind tasting on the way back up. I planned most of my meals that way. I figured out what I was cool with and what was awful. Beef, bad. Salads, bad. Pasta, ok. Cereal, ok. Nice mild food. Chew well so it's less chunky.

I also learned how to throw up. Got to where I could tell it was coming and keep it down until I got to the bathroom or kitchen sink. If I threw up in the middle of the night I would do it in the sink so I wouldn't wake Kurt up. Isn't that sweet of me! Another lesson, take off your glasses. Nothing like digging glasses out of a bowl full of dinner. And close your eyes. One day I was bent over the toilet and the puke splashed back up into my eye. Giving me pink eye. I got pink eye from my own toilet vomit.

Lesson 4 or 5, I've lost count... keep your toilet clean. Nothing worse that being trapped there and noticing how gross it is. It's already a terrible experience, no need to make it even worse.

Eventually puking just became part of my daily routine. Like giving Ryan a bath and throwing up in the toilet next to the tub. Or DVRing certain shows because you know they air during puke time.

It was miserable. There were some nights I would just cry because I didn't think I could take another day of puking and coughing. Made for the longest pregnancy in the history of mankind. The c-section was scheduled and Kurt and I went out for dinner the night before. One last dinner. It was delicious. And I threw it all up later that night. I had morning sickness up till 9 hours before Reid was born. And the second he was out it all stopped. No more coughing, no more puking. Just an amazing baby. And suddenly it was all worth it.

I will be holding this over Reid's head for the rest of his life.

-m

Food Wars

2012-01-12T15:32:00.002-06:00

When Reid started using a highchair, we moved Ryan to a boosterseat. But he never really took to it. I have always feared the dayRyan would be free range at meal time. That time is now.

I am a believerthat kids need to sit down at the table with the family for dinner. And Iam a believer in enforcing these social rules young.

However.

Parenting isreally about tolerance: All these different personalities mixed in together... What you are willing and not willing to put up with. What can youtolerate plus the personality (read: annoying traits) of the kid create aunique balance in every family. Like snow flakes and boogers, no 2 are the same.

For instance,stuff that drives me nuts;

· Whining. Oh the whining!!! Stop it with the whining!!!!

· Fightingme while I’m trying to get you dress. Icannot wait until they can dress themselves. The mornings, I’m half ready for work on the floor trying to keep Reidfrom rolling over so I can get his damn pants on. Having Ryan run away from me when it’s timeto get him dressed. Kicking me while I’mtrying to get his pants on. Pullingshirts over their giant melons.

· Ryanhas this new thing where he’ll hit the wall and then cry because it hurts. Well then don’t hit the wall.

Stuff that doesn’t bother me so much;

· Noise. I’m fine with play yelling, noisy toys. Ryan notices if I’m not paying attention towhatever it is he’s babbling on about and will stop to yell “MOMMY!!!!” I think this is cute.

· “No”. Ryan says “no” 8 million times a day. Seriously, I counted once. 8 million times. Doesn’t bother me.

· Dogpiling me. I play on the floor a lotwith the boys and Ryan loves to climb all over me. The only time it’s an issue is if he hurtsme. I always point out to him that he’shurt me because one day he will be bigger than me.

Back to my point. Freerange Ryan at dinner time. He will notstay in his chair. We could fight him, forcehim, punish him. But he’s 2 1/2 , all we’d get back is screaming andcrying. Then bedtime is a miserableexperience for everyone. And that issomething I am not cool with, I workedway too hard when he was a baby to screw up bedtime now.

Our strategy is to ignore his antics in an attempt to getattention. And repeat over and over “sitdown and finish your dinner.”

I never thought I’d be the mom with the kid running around atdinner time. But alas, this is what it’scome to, I’d rather work on the table manners later and keep a pleasant bedtimeroutine now.

Ask me when they are teenagers what I’m willing and not willing totolerate.

-m

Osmosis

2012-01-09T09:59:00.001-06:00

I really enjoy my weekends at home with the boys. Quality time. Relaxing (sort of). No pressureto rush around. Ryan is now telling meabout everything he encounters, thinks, or thinks about thinking. Big truck! Big Dinosaur! Boat in theWater! Cup in the Sky! Big Dinosaur! Big Dinosaur! Big Dinosaur!

There are only so many times I can be excited about the bigdinosaur. I love that he wants to shareeverything with me. And I know one day I’llhave to pry it out of him with a crowbar. But everyone has their limits. I’msure even Mother Teresa rolled her eyes once and a while. That’s right, I just compared myself toMother Teresa.

So I get excited about the Big Dinosaur! And then chuckle to myself.

When Ryan was in his crib and had a cold, we elevated hismattress with books. Specifically, mystatistics book from college. I alwayshoped some osmosis would take place. Reid had a cold over the weekend and I elevated his mattress with Kurt’sbook on the constitution. I’m thinking of rotating out my lightingdesign books, maybe Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, and then Kurt’srecipes from culinary school. He will beone well rounded man!

I should have thought of this sooner and put more of mytheatre books from college under Ryan’s mattress. I need to start working on that so I can hearBig Ellipsoidal! (Lighting joke. I’m a nerd.)

-m

Not sure I can stay away.

2012-01-05T15:57:00.000-06:00

I decided to shut down my blog. But I'm still writing blogs in my head. They are way funnier in my head too.

So maybe I won't give it up just yet.

Master Reid is a whopping 24 1/2 lbs at 9 1/2 months. And he is still the happiest baby you will ever meet. He has come quite far recently in his mobility. He was up rocking on his knees for months and months. I kept thinking any day he'd take off. But he didn't. I think he might have giving up on crawling all together, but boy can he army crawl now. He rolls all over the place. And it doing a great job transitioning between laying down and sitting up on his own.

All of Reid's teeth are coming in at the same time. So it's been rough the last few weeks. The amount of drool, wow. Just wow. Note to self: like most things, drool follows the rules of gravity. Therefore, hold baby over head, drool will come down... onto my face... in mass quantities.

-m

Open Letter to Ryan and Reid

2011-11-21T11:14:00.001-06:00

To My Boys,

If you haven't noticed, you are brothers. And if you also haven't noticed, your mom is an only child and obsessed with siblings yet has no idea how the whole sibling thing works.

But I am smart enough to know this: You will annoy each other. There will be times when you do not like each other. But you will always be brothers, and this is the only brother you get. You will need each other in your adult lives. So don't screw it up so badly that you can't get past it.

You are different people with different personalities. You will not be treated exactly the same because that is just ridiculous. We do not love one of you more than the other, we are not being unfair, blah blah blah. I'm just gearing up to say this a million times for the next 10-15 years. Don't worry, I'm going to teach you coping skills. But until then, stop pestering your brother!

You will both sit in the back seat. Neither of you gets shot gun. You know why? Because I'm driving, I'm paying for the car and the insurance. And I want control of the radio. Get over it.

To my dear sweet Ryan. You made us a family. You are turning out to be such a wonderful, interesting little man. You make us laugh everyday with the little things you say and do. You can say so much with just a look. The last 6 months have been rough on you, but you handled it like a champ. I'm very proud. I will mention, after we brought Reid home from the hospital, you refused to say "mommy" or any variation there of for about 3 months. But you were always worried that we were going to leave Reid behind when we got in and out of the car. "Reeeeeee!". Eventually you brought back 'mommy' and now everything is "Ya, ma-mee" "No, ma-mee".
Around others, you are a reserved person. Saving all your antics for just daddy and me. Always makes me feel special that you trust us with your inner silliness. Especially with the conversations we have now. When I come into your room, you like to tell me about your dinosaur or choo choo. You will show me all of the stuffed animals that sleep with you. Your vocabulary is growing exponentially, everyday I look forward to what new things you are going to tell me.
Ryan, you are growing up to be a handsome young man. And I gotta say, those big blue eyes of yours... you are welcome! Use them wisely.

To my amazing little Reid. You completed our family. I have tried to describe you to those who have not met you and I can never do you justice. One just has to meet you to understand the splendor that is Reid. I'll never be able to explain it fully here, but I will try. Reid, you have this light inside you. When I come to get you in the mornings, you look up at me and smile the biggest smile ever. You charm everyone you meet with those smiles and dimples. Even when you are crying, with one little snuggle I can get a laugh out of you. I'm so excited to watch you grow up. The world is a better place with you in it.
You are sitting up on your own and so ready to crawl. Any day I'll turn around and you'll be off. Then we all in trouble! And you "talk" a lot! When we are in the car, you will talk to yourself in your little baby babble the whole way. It is the sweetest thing ever!
I am grateful everyday that you are here to make our family complete.

I'm familiar karma. And I remember how I was as a child. I fully expect to walk outside and find you two on the roof wearing roller blades and rockets one day. All I ask is that you do not injure yourselves. And that you do sweet things like bring me flowers. Flowers and hugs just might get me to over look the hole you cut into your bedroom wall, curtains worn as capes, etc.

Boys - be nice to people, don't burn bridges, treat people with respect... all of them. Everyone is deserving of respect. Don't date the crazies. They may seem fun in the beginning, but it's just a mess later. Pay your bills on time and avoid getting into debt. Eat right. But most of all follow your dreams. (Unless your dreams are to go into debt and dating the crazies) Everyone says to follow your dreams. But no one ever explains the *dreams* part. Do what you love to do, work hard at it, be responsible. Do those things and you will be free to enjoy what you do to make a living and the rest of your time as well.

I wish nothing but the best for you both and I promise I will do all I can to raise you so that you may achieve those things.

Who loves you??? Mommy Does!!!! Now pull my finger.

-m

It's not you. It's Reid

2011-10-31T09:37:00.000-05:00

Reid and I recently went to Muleshoe Texas to visit family. All through the airport Reid would smile, giggle, and charm everyone who walked by. People are captivated by him and his amazing personality. Helps that he's as cute as a button too.

When Reid was about 4 months old I took him to an after hours care place for an ear infection. Even with a fever and feeling bad, he still charmed the pants off the doctor, who later said he was a blessing to this world. So true.

While I was in line at the drugstore the other day, and lady standing behind me in line was once again taken by Reid's smiles and giggles. She said "he must think my glasses are funny." I wanted to tell her - It's not you, it's Reid. It's the amazing spirit of this little person who has graced this world.

Our trip to Muleshoe was short, but very nice. Somewhere along the way Reid and I picked up a bug. The runs kind of bug. Good times. I changed Reid twice before we got on the plane to go home. I know the lady sitting next to us was nervous when I sat down with a 7 month old baby. Lucky for me, he's a great traveler. No crying. Just smiles, looks around and then passes out on my chest. Towards the end of the flight she commented on how good he was. I'm sure she thanking her lucky stars she didn't have to listen to a screaming baby.

But as we descended, so did Reid's poop. Full on blow out as we landed. Everyone in my section got to smell poop as we taxied and deplaned. Can't please everyone all the time!

-m

Casa De Stockhausen

2011-10-12T13:24:00.001-05:00

The new house. I love love love the new house! I have owned a house before and that was hell on earth. In fact, I avoided putting down roots for a long time because of that experience.

But this house is just the right fit. Each kid gets his own room. Nice big living room and play room. That playroom is the best part. Really it's the dining room, but come on now. Am I going to be hosting any fancy dinner parties? No. Am I going to be drowning in legos, cars, trains, train tracks, baseballs, soccer balls... Yes. And now I have a room to dump it all in! Wheeeee! Doesn't mean I don't find little toy cars stuck in random places all over the house. But it does mean I have a place to toss it when I do find it, step on it, sit on it.

The unpacking has hit critical mass. I'm now to the point where I have time to either unpack or clean. But not both. So the unpacking has slowed way down. However, I made a really good dent in September. So now it's mostly the little stuff and getting what I have unpack organized. I know I have all the time in the world to get this done. But I will be so happy when I don't have to ever look at cardboard boxes ever again.

...until the boys want to make forts out of them. That's the best kind of cardboard box.

-m

The flu vaccine can give you the flu

2011-10-05T13:35:00.000-05:00

·        The flu vaccine can give you the flu.
·        Antibiotics can fight the flu.
·        If you’re young and healthy, you don’t need toworry about getting the vaccine.
·        Vaccines are dangerous.
·        The flu vaccine is a government conspiracy.

Do you agree with allthese statements?  Wellthen, you are WRONG!  I rarely argue points because for themost part I don't care if you agree with me or not.  But this one I will.

In my 20's I never got a flushot for 2 reasons.  1.) Mombugged me constantly about getting one.  2.)Getting the flu was the only way I could justify taking some time off.  And If I didn't get a flu shot, I'dget the flu.  Now I am olderand wiser and understand there are other reasons beyond me not getting the fluto go ahead and get the flu shot.

·        Immunizing the family helps protect vulnerableinfants.
·        Influenza is more serious than you think,especially with kids.  Comeon, you see how much they wipe their nose and then wipe other stuff.
·        Influenza can worsen chronic medicalconditions.  Like if someonehas a heart condition. Or my friend Allison who had a double lungtransplant 3 years ago - this can be very dangerous for her. You could bewalking around with the flu and not know it... passing it on to people likeher.
·        Keep your kids at school and yourself at work.
·        The influenza vaccine is safe and effective.

Seasonalinfluenza vaccine is safe, time tested and made in the same way every year. Ofcourse, as with all medications, vaccines can be associated with some mild,short-term side effects. Immunization is the best way to prevent influenza. Theinfluenza vaccine can reduce chances of getting the flu by 70 to 90 percentand, if someone gets vaccinated but still gets the flu, chances are they willget a less severe case.

Get a freaking flu shot orstay away from me and my children!

xoxoxo
-m

Here are the fact aboutthe myths I listed above:

FluMyth #3: The flu vaccine can give you the flu
Thisis the flu myth most likely to drive experts bonkers. “There is simply no waythat the flu vaccine can give you the flu,” says Hay. “It’s impossible.”
Why?For one, injected flu vaccines only contain dead virus, and a dead virus is,well, dead: it can’t infect you. There is one type of live virus flu vaccine,the nasal vaccine, FluMist. But in this case, the virus is specially engineeredto remove the parts of the virus that make people sick.
Despitethe scientific impossibility of getting the flu from the flu vaccines, thiswidespread flu myth won’t die. Experts suspect two reasons for itspersistence.  One, peoplemistake the side effects of the vaccine for flu. While side effects to thevaccine these days tend to be a sore arm, in the past, side effects often feltlike mild symptoms of the flu. Two, flu season coincides with a time of yearwhen bugs causing colds and other respiratory illnesses are in the air.  Many people get the vaccine and then,within a few days, get sick with an unrelated cold virus. However, they blamethe innocent flu vaccine, rather than their co-worker with a runny nose andcough.

FluMyth #5: Antibiotics can fight the flu.
Antibioticsonly fight bacterial infections. Flu -- whether it’s typical seasonal flu orswine flu -- is not caused by bacteria, but by a virus. So antibiotics haveabsolutely no effect on any kind of flu. But this message just won’t sink infor some people.
“Westill have oodles of patients coming into the doctors, or bringing theirchildren to the doctors, who want antibiotics for influenza,” says Schaffner.
However,there are instances of flu complications that involve bacterialinfection.  The flu viruscan weaken your body and allow bacterial invaders to infect you.  Secondary bacterial infections to theflu include bronchitis, ear infections, sinusitis, and most often, pneumonia.
Somepatients with flu want antibiotics just in case they might develop acomplication. But Hay says this attempt at prevention doesn’t work. It couldmake things worse. “If you take antibiotics unnecessarily and then really dowind up with a secondary bacterial infection, then it might be resistant tothose antibiotics,” Hay tells WebMD.
Ifyour flu symptoms are getting better and then suddenly get worse, call yourdoctor. This may be a sign of a bacterial co-infection.

FluMyth #9: If you’re young and healthy, you don’t need to worry about getting thevaccine.
Firstof all, we should all get the seasonal flu vaccine. Sure, if you’re in goodhealth, you’ll probably recover from the seasonal flu just fine. But why sufferthrough the flu if you can avoid it? Second, protecting yourself isn’t the onlyreason to get vaccinated.
“Healthyadults forget that while they themselves might be at low risk for gettingserious flu complications, other people in their family might not,” says Hay.If you have a small child at home, or an older parent, your failure to getyourself vaccinated could endanger them.
Andthat’s true on a larger, societal level. People with the weakest defenses, likechildren under 6 months, can’t get the flu vaccine. Their safety depends on therest of us getting immunized.

FluMyth #11: Vaccines are dangerous.
Inrecent years, there’s been growing mistrust of vaccines, including the fluvaccine. Some believe that there could be a link between vaccines --specifically the ingredient thimerosal -- and developmental disorders inchildren, like autism.  However,there is no evidence that vaccines cause autism, and experts say that we’relosing sight of how important vaccines are.
“Vaccinesare, arguably, the greatest medical advance in history,” says Perl. They’veprevented more illness and death than any treatment.
Ifyou’re still concerned, you should know that there are thimerosal-free fluvaccines available. In fact, every year, manufacturers produce more of thisvaccine than people use. If you want your child to get it, just ask your doctor.

The flu vaccine is a government conspiracy.
I added this one because I think it's hilarious. Seriously! Major companies pay to have people come in and vaccinate their employees. That's not the government. That is capitalism wanting their workersto stay at work. Those of you who believe this - I openly laugh at you.

Sources:

http://www.cdc.gov/flu/protect/keyfacts.htm

http://www.preventchildhoodinfluenza.org

My ability to reason.

The Big Boy Bed

2011-09-21T14:48:00.001-05:00

Ryan has officially transferred to a big boy bed. Which means Reid is no longer sleeping in temporary housing.

It all went better than I had hoped. First of all, Ryan is sleeping in a queen size bed. We have a room for each of the boys and no extra rooms for guests. So until NICU bills, etc. are paid down, no new furniture will be purchased. I kept the queen size bed so that when we do have guest over, they can comfortably stay in Ryan's room. And play with his massive collection of cars and trains.

Kurt bought a book about Elmo moving to a big boy bed. We'd been talking about it to him for a few days. The day of, I asked Ryan if he was excited about sleeping in his big boy bed. "No Mommy." But that's his answer for everything. "Ryan, would you like a million dollars?" "No Mommy"

I put together the bed rails, made his bed, got his room all ready, hung the curtains, hung his pictures on the wall. And Ryan spent all day playing "nite nite" with his stuffed animals. He has 3 animals he sleeps with, Elmo, Mr. Frog, and Patch Puppy. Patch Puppy was hand made by a dear family friend and given to Ryan when he was baptized at 9 months old. Patch Puppy is his favorite bedtime animal. When it's time to lay down and go to sleep the first thing Ryan does is snuggle up with Patch Puppy.

So all day "nite nite. nite nite. nite nite. nite nite." It was very cute and I totally plan on telling all of Ryan's serious girlfriends this story. (I'm not going to waste it on any rebound girls)

I have been coming up with my big boy plan for months now. I like to read about all the different methods and different people's experiences and then pick and choose what I think will work best for Ryan. He got his bath, brushed his teeth, jammies, book, and a kiss good night. And then we left him. In a Giant Bed. He looks so small balled up in one corner of the big bed.

Since then, we had some opposition from him at the beginning of the night. Some crying, screaming, getting out of the bed a million times, asking "Daddy, where did you go?" But every night so far he has eventually gone to sleep and stayed in his bed all night long. He is doing great!

-m

Sleepity sleep sleep, I love sleep.

2011-09-15T16:19:00.001-05:00

Sleep sleep sleep. I love sleep. Reid has turned out to be a good sleeper. He also needs more sleep than Ryan did. Since he has started eating solid foods he gets a jar of veggies as soon as we get home. *Ryan and Reid only got veggies for the first 2 months of solid food eating. So when they are older and eat their veggies it's all TOTALLY THANKS TO ME.* He eats his food, gets a bath (unless it's No Bath Monday... or Wednesday... and so on). Then a small bottle. By that point he is out. Like a light. And not a nicely dimmed light on a slow fade, but a switched light that goes out in a blink.

Reid will usually wake up between 9-10 ready for another bottle. And this one gets him through the night. Really, his mistake was sleeping through the night back in June. Then I knew he could make it without a bottle. I'm going to start weaning out the 9-10pm bottle slowly reducing it and combining it with the 7 pm bottle.

The big news of the day... Ryan will be moving to his big boy bed soon. As soon as I baby proof everything in the room ensuring that, as he roams freely, he does not hurt himself or someone else or escape or ruin any furniture or trap and torture the dog or sneak out and go clubbing. He is allowed however, to escape and do the dishes or mow the yard or do a load of laundry.

-m

No Bath Mondays

2011-09-08T09:26:00.000-05:00

Updates:
Reid is rolling around all over the place. Sleeping on his belly with his little butt up in the air. He's moving all over the place in his bed, every time I go in there he's moved to a different corner. He's eating solids now. Sitting up on his own is next!

Reid is very ticklish. Very. And when his diaper is being changed he balls up and giggles. Very cute, but makes it hard to change the diapers!

On to the topic at hand...
Mondays are a beating for Kurt and me. Kurt has crazy busy day at work and has to get out of there in time to pick up the kids. I have my Monday night meetings, so I don't get home until 7 or 8 pm. A couple of months ago we decided Monday nights we needed to cut the baths. We were just too wiped out to give the kids a bath... and also feed them. I figured feeding them was something we simply could not cut out of the schedule. So "No Bath Mondays" was born.

And occasionally there will be a "No Bath Wednesday" or "No Bath Friday". I think as long as it's not "No Bath Fall of 2011" we're ok.

-m

Happy Birthday Ryan! (a little late)

2011-08-31T12:02:00.000-05:00

The blog is late, I did actually tell him happy birthday on his birthday.
For Ryan's birthday we bought Ryan and Reid a house. With a yard. For the record, this size gift will never be topped again. Which means Ryan has peaked for birthday gifts at age 2.

The move was a total beating, but after 5 months of packing/moving packing/moving packing/moving. We are DONE.

I need a nap.

-m

Reflections Of Motherhood: What Would You Tell Your Pregnant Self?

2011-08-11T13:44:00.001-05:00

Motherhood is this juxtaposition of a feeling of community and feeling of complete isolation. That's what I would tell my pregnant self anyway.

Reflections of Motherhood
(watch the video at the top)

-m

No Time To Whine

2011-08-10T11:54:00.000-05:00

Often the beginning of addiction for someone is a traumatic event. Something happens and the person will start self medicating. What takes it to the addict level is when the crisis has passed, but the person continues to abuse whatever it is... Not readjusting back to normal.

I told you that so I can tell you this. My house is a wreck. So very way beyond my comfort level for cleanliness and tidiness. And here is why:

I get up at 5:00 - 5:30 am every morning
Get Reid up, change and feed him
Jump in the shower
Get Ryan up, change and feed him
Finish getting ready for work
Get the kids stuff ready for their day
Get the kids in the car and drive to daycare
Drop off kids and drive to work
At work by 7:45
**Unless Kurt is dropping off then kids. Then I leave for the office at 6:15am
Work a full day
If I'm picking up the kids I have to leave at 5pm on the dot to get there on time
Get to daycare by 5:30, load up the kids
Home by 6pm
**Unless Kurt is picking up. Then I work a little later
At home now..
Feed Reid
Feed Ryan
Give Reid a bath and put him to bed
Give Ryan a bath and put him to bed.
By now it's 8pm... And remember, I've been up since 5.
This is the time I sit down for about an hour and spend some time with Kurt.
But by 9pm, it's time to pick up the toys, do the dishes, do laundry, fold laundry, get clothes ready for work tomorrow, get kids stuff ready for daycare tomorrow.
Now it's at least 10, which means I have to be back up in 7 hours to do it all over again.
If I'm lucky, I'm in bed by 10:30-11pm.
Oh! And don't forget we're still getting up in the middle of the night with Reid!

Note: Kurt's days are pretty much the same. He will have a day off during the week while the kids are in daycare. And that's when he takes care of everything else! All the errands, grocery shopping, and anything else that might come up. There is no way I could do this without him. We are a team! An ass busting, hardest working parents out there team!

This is a brutal schedule. And somewhere in there I spend time with my kids. Poor dog doesn't get let out as much as he needs. He's lowest on the totum pole.

In time, it will get easier. Much easier as Reid gets older and we get settled in, unpacked, and a good routine going.

But for right now if something is going to get skipped, it's not going to be time with my kids. It will be the dishes or folding laundry or picking up the toys. I'm ALL TOO AWARE we are living in a messy state. But we have made some fantastic and mighty huge changes in our lives and this too shall pass.

I just have to keep reminding myself to notice when the crisis is over and make sure the dishes get done.

-m

Reid. Amazing.

2011-08-03T09:02:00.000-05:00

I have not written about Reid nearly as much as Ryan. Alas, the joy of being the 2nd child. With Ryan, I was learning how to be a mom and handle a baby. With Reid, I'm a pro so there is not as much complaining and whining (from me anyway).

There is something special about Reid. He is one of a kind. Every time I look his direction, he looks back and smiles. His eyes smile. I have not ever met a baby so content, with so many smiles and giggles to share. There is a light in his eyes and life in his heart. At only 4 months old, I can tell he is going to be one amazing human being. And trouble, I predict a lot of trouble.

Reid has not had the strict schedule that Ryan had. Mostly because we don't not have time for it. Ryan got all my attention when I came home from work. But Reid has to wait his turn. Because of that, I have been keeping him up later so I get some one on one time with him. But it is time for him to learn how to sleep on his own and we have begun sleep training. So far so good. Reid made the mistake early on of sleeping through the night. And then I KNEW he could make it without eating. Since then, I rarely feed him at night. Only during a growth spurt.

A few days into sleep training. I get up once or twice a night to put the pacifier in and that's it! Slightly more sleep for Kurt and me! I look a little less like death warmed over.

Reid is going to be one amazing kid.

-m

can I blog from my phone?

2011-08-02T12:17:00.000-05:00

I sure can!!

The Lexicon of Ryan

2011-07-22T09:08:00.000-05:00

Nernie - Ernie from Sesame Street
Melmo - Elmo
Mo - Milk
Mo Mo - More Milk
Reeeeeeee - Reid
Ny Ny - Nite Nite
Beep Beep - Truck
Nirrrrum - Car
dgEE - Doggie
daDEEE - Daddy
cooKEEEE - Cookie

He likes the E sound. This is a little sample of Ryan's daily vernacular. These words are sprinkled through out paragraphs of gibberish. Blah blah blah balh Nernie blah blah blah.

Nerie is my favorite. I want to get a new dog just so I can name him Nernie.

-m

The MRI

2011-06-22T09:29:00.000-05:00

Have you watched House? Watched them do an MRI, sitting behind the glass chatting it up, talking to the patient? Ya. That's not how it is at all!!! They lie.

Reid's CT scan came back with a question. Everything looked normal, but they thought their might be swelling in the left part of his brain. Hence the MRI. This was a crap day anyway. Reid had been there for several days. We were both spend mentally and physically. And ***disclaimer - every other nurse in NICU was amazing*** the nurse that day was very difficult.

To prep Reid for the MRI he was swaddled, held into place with foam pads, then wrapped up in a blanket, then taped down to keep everything in place, his head was strapped down, ear plugs taped on, and put onto the long, thin table that slides into the machine. The machine is humongous. And it was explained to me that it is VERY loud. I was given the option to be in the room with Reid while the MRI was running. And decided of course I want to be in the room with my tiny newborn baby all strapped down. They started to prep me, ear plugs, telling me the testing will take about 45 minutes, all metal removed, etc. I stood in the room while everyone was buzzing around getting everything ready and I realized there was no clock. I would be trapped in this room with no idea of how much longer the testing would last. And I was warned over and over again how loud it was. Wouldn't have Kurt with me. Wouldn't be able to ask questions. And wouldn't be able to leave the room for any reason. I felt like an awful mother, but I decided it was best I waited outside with Kurt.

They finally started and it was Loud. It sounded like rapid canon fire going off in the room right next door. Oh my tiny little baby. I could believe how much he'd been through in the first 5 days of his life. An hour of "BAM BAM BAM BAM". Kurt and I sat there and tried to talk about other things to get our minds off what was happening. Reid, it turns out, slept through most of it. They told he would wake up and move when the machine was quiet. Clearly Reid finds rapid canon fire relaxing.

I was so relieved when it was all over. And Reid is such a strong little man for getting through all that. The MRI came back clean and he was released the next day.

-m

My Little Family

2011-06-21T08:10:00.000-05:00

My little family rocks. Back in the day, back in another life, I used to be quite bitter and pissy. I did not look forward to life. Turns out I was just terribly unhappy and felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
All that has changed now. I look forward to getting up in the morning, even though it's at 5:30 am. I can't wait to get home at night. I have someone to share the burdens with me. I love sharing my life with Kurt. He is such a good partner for me and just the best dad ever. I don't know if Ryan and Reid will even know how much he loves them.   I hope so.

And my boys. I just love saying that. I mean really, what would I have done with a girl? Having 2 boys just fits me. My hearts bursts every time I see them. I'm fascinated at how different they are already.   I can't wait to watch them grow up and I love every second with them now.

Not everything is perfect. The apartment is a disaster and there aren't enough hours to keep up with it. We are tired of being in an apartment and ready to have a house with a yard for the boys to play in. My body is a wreck from being pregnant back to back. And I have too much gray hair.

I used to spend my days worrying, waiting for the other shoe to drop.   And it was always an annoying shoe that cuts into your heal and hurts your toes. But shoes drop and shit happens. If that's all you focus on, that's all you get. Crappy shoes in a pile of shit.

Instead I'll focus on Ryan walking around in my high heals saying "sheeeewwwwwww!" Life is good.

-m

Ears and Corn

2011-06-20T08:07:00.000-05:00

Not ears of corn, mind you.

Since Reid has been born I keep comparing Reid and Ryan's ears. They have different ears. Who's ears do they have? I'm not sure. I'm fascinated with the differences. Bigger, smaller, is the ear lobe attached? So I have started comparing everyone else's ear. I find myself staring at the ears of my co-workers, people standing in front of me in line. If I'm standing near you, you can bet I'm looking at your ears... pondering.

Now, on to the corn. I rarely ever feed Ryan corn. One, because I'm not a big fan of corn. It's too sweet. And two, I fear to corn coming out the other end phenomenon. A couple of weeks ago we had corn for dinner. Just to mix it up. I thought maybe Ryan was getting bored with broccoli and carrots. The next morning Ryan came down with a bad case of diarrhea. And corn. I don't mind poop when it looks like poop. But this did not look like poop. I will never eat corn again. Ever.

-m

Reid Part 2 - NICU

2011-06-05T22:19:00.000-05:00

I think about blogging every day. And soon life slows down and I will get to tell my stories more often. Like for instance, my weekend that involved corn and diarrhea. But I shall save that story for another day.
Reid was perfect when he was born. The first night went well. He was eating well. The second night, not so much. Kurt had gone home to be with Ryan and Reid and I were up all night long. Suddenly he was having a terrible time breast feeding. I worked on it all night and finally gave in around 5 am and gave him some formula. Then I pretty much passed out. We were checking out that next day. Day 3 of his life, the nurse was giving Reid one final check over before we took him him. I was laying in the bed, still worn out from the night before. Nurse Dawn. I will never forget Nurse Dawn. She saved my son's life. He was in the bassinet, so I couldn't see him. She told me "The baby is turning blue" and before I could even respond she had whisked him out of the room. I was left there. No idea what just happened, what was happening to my baby. I called Kurt and he was on his way in. I couldn't clearly explain what has just happened because I didn't even know.

30 minutes later Nurse Dawn comes in and explains Reid was having a blue spell - he had stopped breathing and was turning blue. She took him to the nursery to put him on oxygen, while they were doing that he started having a seizure. He was then whisked to NICU. There he has 2 more seizures and stopped breathing during them.

Now I had a better grasp of what was going on and I was terrified. I called my mom and as soon as the words "Reid has been taken to NICU" came out of my mouth I broke down. Reality hit me. The fear that I might lose my 3 day old son, that had spent the last 9 months with me day and night set in.

Nurse Dawn came back in and told us Reid was stable and we could go to NICU to see him. He was hooked up to every machine in the hospital, I think. Awful, all these wires coming out of him. They had him on anti-seizure medication, so Reid was completely out of it.

One day I will write a post about the doctors and nurses in NICU and how freaking amazing they are.

I'm going to summarize the NICU stay a bit. First couple of days Reid was completely drugged up. But as the drugs wore off, he got better and better. He had one more blue spell while I was there. And several times his breathing dropped out, but always came back on it's own. Kurt and I would show up at 8 and stay with him all day, go home about 10, back up the next morning to do the same thing. It was exhausting. And I was so heart broken that I had barely seen Ryan. It was bad enough I had already been in the hospital away from him for Reid's birth.

While Reid was there, they ran every test every invented. My next blog will be about the MRI, because it is worthy of it's own blog. But after every test ever on the planet ever, they could not find anything wrong with him and 5 days later they released him.

Let me tell you, the first week home with Reid I didn't sleep at all. I laid awake listening to him breathe all night long.

He was still struggling a lot. Crying, having trouble eating. When he was laying down he would gurgle and choke on the milk. A couple of weeks in I took him to the doctor and he was diagnosed with acid reflux. The choking was caused from the milk coming back up and then going back down his trachea. We got him on some medication and I saw improvement right away.

When he was 4 weeks old I took Reid to the neurologist for a follow up. I told Dr. Watkins about Reid's issue with acid reflux since we'd been home from the hospital. After reviewing everything and looking over Reid, the neurologist concluded that Reid might have suffered from Sandifer Syndrome. That is when newborns have severe acid reflux and their reaction to pain can look like a seizure and stop them from breathing. It is very rare for babies that young to have acid reflux, which it why the NICU treated for seizures. We will never really know if that is what happened. But it makes the most sense. And since Reid has been on medication he has thrived.

His is such a sweet, happy baby. Smiling and giggling all the time. And just think, if it wasn't for Nurse Dawn, I might have lost all that. My sweet baby Reid.

-m

Reid

2011-05-11T23:14:00.000-05:00

Sadly Reid, your first couple of months of life have not been documented the way Ryan's were. That is because I thought I could have a baby and pack and move my family across the country. Which we did, but it left no time for blogging. So I'm going to try and make up for that.

By the way, you are currently sleeping soundly in your crib next to our bed and I'm wide awake because you have been keeping me up until 3 am for the last few days. So thanks for that.

Starting at the beginning. Reid, my pregnancy with you sucked ass. I mean it was a giant pile of suck. It could not have sucked more. And since Ryan's birth was a big sack of suck. I decided to have you surgically removed.

We arrived at the hospital at 7:30 in the morning and they forgot about us in the waiting room. I actually fell asleep on the couch waiting for the nurse to come and get us. But by 9:30 they did and boy did they move fast. I was hooked up to all the IV's while the nurses and doctor went over all the paperwork with me. The doctor who delivered you was Dr. Rosen. He is the head-honcho doctor at the practice. So you got the best. I will always remember the v-neck on his scrubs decorated with salt and pepper chest hair and a thick gold chain. This guy had personality. My midwife was also there. She delayed her vacation a day so she could be there for your birth.

By 10 am we were in the operating room. It was cold and boring, not at all like on TV. Kurt came in about 15 minutes later in his daddy scrubs. Dr. Rosen squeezed my belly and guest you to be 7 lbs 3 oz. He was off by 1 oz.

Another note, they had to make the incision bigger because you were too wide. Kurt and I make big boys.

They pulled you out and dangled this purple, wrinkled, puffy, gooey face over the curtain. You cried. You were perfect.

-m

Ryan

2011-04-15T19:52:00.000-05:00

Ryan has grown a lot in the last month. He has transformed from a toddler to a little boy. Every day is something new. New words, new games, new tricks, new ways for him to fall. It has been quite an experience to watch him grow up in front of me everyday. I think this really hits home right now since I have a new baby to remind me of how things started with Ryan. He's gone from my tiny baby to a boy with thoughts and opinions.

He is still a kid and still gets into trouble. But that is the exception, not the rule with him. He has a good soul. He is a kind, and sweet little boy. Loves to laugh, loves to make you laugh. Such a good heart.

I love my kids. Duh. I kinda have to. But I'm surprised at how much I like Ryan.

-m

Buy These Cookies.

2011-04-14T18:57:00.000-05:00

Delicious Dozen

Are you like me? Lacking in the super mom, super crafty gene? "Can't I just buy it at the store?" If you are, then buy these cookies. My friend, Erin, makes the most amazing cookies ever! This is the store where she sells said crazy/awesome cookies.

Delicious Dozen

That's right. I'm pimpin' out my friends. But you all know I wouldn't pimp a dud. Only the best here!

-m

Just kidding!

2011-04-09T10:06:00.003-05:00

Just kidding about the being back part. Apparently a toddler, a newborn, and trying to pack for a move across the country takes up all your time. I promise I will be back soon with lots of Ryan and Reid updates.

-m

We're Baaaaack!

2011-03-29T13:22:00.000-05:00

Reid Everett Stockhausen born March 14th, 2011 at 10:34 am. 7 lbs 4 oz

Well hello interent! Did you miss me? I have been gone for a while. The week before I had Reid I was home spending lost of quality time with Ryan.
My c-section was moved to March 14th because I was in early labor. C-section and recovery were great. A thousand times easier than with Ryan's birth. But Reid felt the need to scare the holy bajeezus out of us and sent himself to the NICU. He is home now and doing well.

I will post my birth/NICU story up here soon. I just wanted to let you all know I haven't forgotten about you.

-m

I am really freakin' pregnant.

2011-02-28T15:19:00.000-06:00

37 weeks today. 3 weeks until the due date/c-section date.

I am big. I don't move around well. It's a challenge to get up off the couch or put on my shoes. When I was really freakin' pregnant with Ryan I got into the habit of grunting and groaning every time I had to move around. And then when Ryan was 6 months old I was still grunting and groaning. Not because it was hard to move, I was just still in the habit. The habit is back. And I fear it might be permanent.

3 weeks until Junior arrives still seems like a life time away for me. But I know when Junior is 3 weeks old I won't know where the time went.

Can't wait to meet this little boy! Also can't wait to go more than 20 minutes without needing to pee!

-m

I spent a week in Oklahoma one night.

2011-02-23T14:15:00.000-06:00

We have now hit the point when time slows down to a crawl. 36 weeks and some days. 26 days to go. This last month is a weird one because you are balancing that "it could happen any day" to "I still have weeks left." Which one is it? Any day or weeks? Should I get excited or should I relax and not think about it? Kurt has asked me to pack my bag for the hospital and I have yet to do that for a few reasons. 1. we are so close to the hospital, if we do go into labor before scheduled it won't take me long to pack. 2. We are scheduled, so really I don't need to pack until the night before. 3. if a baby is coming, he does not care whether my bag is packed or not. 4. Packing my bag means there is absolutely no way this kid is coming any earlier (in my mind). Mostly it's the 4th reason I haven't packed.

When my c-section was scheduled for the 21st I was pleased. Thinking now I'll have some extra time to get some rest. I'll get to spend some quality time with Ryan. Clearly that was on a day that I was not coughing and puking. On those days I'm WAY more anxious to get things rolling.

Thursday is a midwife appt with a sono. One more peak at Junior before he arrives!

-m

Weekend Extravaganza

2011-02-18T10:47:00.000-06:00

When I got pregnant with Ryan I joined an online board of women who were also pregnant with babies due in Aug 2009. We spent our entire pregnancies getting to know each other, leaning on each other, learning from each other. And by the time our babies were born we had formed a very close bond. Eventually we all moved over to facebook and talk every day. We still talk about our kids (since they aren't babies anymore) but we talk about everything else as well.

I don't know what it is about this group of people. I've been on other boards and have never clicked with a group of women like I have with these ladies. It's something special. And a little freaky.

The best part has been Danielle. She and I realized we don't live too far from each other and met up when our babies were still little bitty. We became fast friends. Ryan and I have gone down to spend the weekend with her numerous times. She has driven up here and we took the boys to the zoo. We talk just about everyday. She is going to come up for the birth of Junior. (I'm super excited about that!) She is now stuck with me for life!

This weekend another friend, Kristin, from the group is flying in all the way from MN and we are all going to spend the weekend at Danielle's with our kids. It is going to be good times!

I cannot imagine my life without these women now. They are such a part of me, such a support, true friends. All because I was having a baby in August of 2009.

Who knew the internet was more than just porn.

-m

C-Section Date

2011-02-11T12:25:00.000-06:00

Howdy Folks. I have been MIA for a few days. I was in training and then came down with a bad cold. Now Ryan has the cold, so we are just leaky faucets of snot.

Junior's c-section date has been set for March 21st. Which is Juniors actual due date. There is a slim chance I could go into labor on my own before then. And to be honest, I think that's exciting. I would still have a c-section. But I'd also get to say stuff like "Honey, it's time!" or "Holy Crap! I'm in labor!" or "&$%$@%^&*^)(@$*&^". But Ryan was late and showed no signs of wanting to come out on his own. So I really don't think that will happen with Junior.

-m

My heart hurts for another.

2011-02-07T09:29:00.000-06:00

My heart goes out to a friend today. After a terrible ordeal, she has suffered the greatest loss. She and her family will be in my thoughts.

-m

Yum YUMMY!!!!!!

2011-02-04T08:36:00.000-06:00

Ryan has had a language explosion lately. Chatty Chatty all the time. He has identified Airplanes. "Bear-pains" And Kurt pointed out to him that he has airplanes on his crib sheet. Yesterday morning when I woke Ryan up he spend a good 10 minutes pointing out the hundreds of bear-pains on his sheet. Look Mom! There's one! And There's One! And one over there... and over here!

All modes of transportation go "choo choo". Cars, bikes, if it moves it must go "choo choo".

He can also identify Elmo "Melmo". So anytime we see Elmo, which is a lot, he'll yell out to us "Melmo!"

But on to the Yum Yummy. Originally Ryan Started saying Yum Yummy when we sat him down to eat. Now it has become a demand 'I'm hungry' translates to "YUM YUMMY!". Or 'I would like to eat that.' "YUM YUMMY!!!" He recognizes food on the TV and will point saying yum yummy. What has me concerned is this: We were watching Bizzare Foods with Andrew Zimmern on the travel channel, the host travels all over the world eating very weird and usually gross stuff. Andrew Zimmern was picking this shellfish thing off the side of a rock and eating it raw. Ryan pipes up "Yum Yummy!"

Gross.

-m

Mommy Is Funny!

2011-02-02T08:32:00.000-06:00

I am still getting morning sickness. But it usually hits in the afternoon or evening. Last night I was giving Ryan his bath and a wave of "You are going to puke right now!" hit me. Luckily the toilet is right next to the tub, so I just leaned over and started throwing up. Ryan thought this was HILARIOUS. He would let out this huge belly laugh every time I heaved into the toilet. He was laughing so hard it was making me laugh. And I learned one cannot laugh and puke at the same time.

Kurt came into see what was so funny. Ha! That was not the site he was expecting to see.

And yes, I'm 33 weeks pregnant and still getting morning sickness. But by now I'm very used to the throwing up. In fact, I dare say I have gotten good at it. I've often considered writing a blog about that, but I want you people to keep reading... so I won't.

Other than the puking, I have been feeling much better the last few days. I got some extra rest over the weekend thanks to my in-laws coming down and helping out. I have said many time that this has been a rough pregnancy. I do not enjoy being pregnant. But I do enjoy feeling Junior wiggle and kick in my belly. That is my favorite part of all. It is my special time with him just between the two of us. It is the most unique and wonderful feeling in the world. And I am sad that this is the last time I will get to experience it. So I'm trying to treasure every moment.

I can't end a blog on such a mushy moment. So let me end with: Last night Ryan peed on the floor and said "Uh Oh!" while he was doing it.

-m

The Morning Routine

2011-02-01T09:12:00.000-06:00

Most mornings Kurt is already off to work, so it's just me and Ryan.

When Ryan was a little baby our routine went something like this: I get up and make Ryan's bottle. Get Ryan up and change his diaper. Carry Ryan to the couch and give him his bottle while I watch the morning news.

Then when he was a little older: I get up and make Ryan's sippy cup of milk. Get Ryan up and change his diaper. Carry Ryan to the couch and he sits in my lap drinking milk while I watch the morning news.

Now: I get up and make Ryan's sippy cup of milk. Get Ryan up and change his diaper. Ryan then walks to the couch, climbs up himself, and sits next to me drinking his milk while I watch the morning news.

He's officially a "kid" now.

Ryan is so happy and chipper in the morning. He is rested and excited about the new day. Kind of reminds you what life was like before work, taxes, old age, and all that other crap happens.

-m

?se habla espanol?

2011-01-26T13:05:00.000-06:00

Because Ryan does. They speak a lot of spanish at Ryan's daycare and he is picking up spanish words as fast as english words. Some of them I didn't even realize were words until his daycare lady pointed them out to me.

I don't know a lot of spanish. I took latin in high school, because that really comes in handy with a liberal arts degree in theatre . But I do know the common stuff like 'What time is it?' 'Where is taco bell?' So when I do know the spanish word, I say both to Ryan. I have no expectations for any of this to stick. But it certainly can't hurt.

His vocabulary has really started to grow. Rarely does Ryan take requests, so you just have to catch the words as they come out. Last night he said his name for me. I was so excited! It comes out Ny-nan.

We finally have a name picked out for Junior and I've started to say it around Ryan so maybe he'll get used to it a little bit. But frankly he is still too young and completely oblivious. The only thing he is aware of is that mama doesn't play with him like she used to. Now I just sit on the floor and let him play around me while I do my impression of a beached whale.

-m

But what if I do this??...

2011-01-17T11:15:00.000-06:00

Ryan has begun to test his limits. And my limits. I spent most of Saturday saying the word "no" a thousand-million times. Ah to watch his little brain process what is ok and not ok. Like it is not ok to hurl toys at Ranger. As fun as that might be. Poor, poor Ranger. That dog has no idea what's coming... 2 boys. Double the torture.

At the end of the day Saturday we were cleaning up the living room. Side note: Ryan knows exactly what clean up time is. He does it every day at daycare and every day at home. So it's clean up time and everything has been put away in it's designated box. Except Ryan was not finished playing with the train tracks. He kept going back to that box and pulling them out. After several firm "no's" I sat Ry down in my lap and quietly, but firmly explained he was not to do that anymore.

And this is what Ryan did: He stood up (no crying or tantrums) looked back over his shoulder at me, tilting his head so his cheek was resting on his shoulder. And he held the pose! Like he was trying to hypnotize me with his big blue eyes.

But what Ryan doesn't realize - The big blue eyes trick does not work when using it on the person from whom you inherited said big blue eyes. I am immune to his powers!

-m

The Glory of Kurt

2011-01-14T09:28:00.001-06:00

This blog is dedicated to Kurt. (For the record I'm pretty sure he hasn't read my blog in months, so I doubt he will ever see this.)

But he certainly deserves praise. Junior's pregnancy has been ROUGH. Tougher because I'm older and chasing a toddler. But in general twenty times rougher than the first pregnancy. Kurt has listened to me throw up... a lot. Cough... a lot. Moan and groan, whine and complain. He has been there more for Ryan since I'm worthless by the end of the day. Picked up the slack with keeping up the house. And done all this without complaint. He goes to the store and gets all the food. Deals with all my weird food issues that pop up when I'm pregnant. Just be an all around wonderful husband and father. I couldn't ask for more.

I feel bad for him. His once fun, lively, hard working wife is a bloated sack of jello now. It can't be easy for him. And the world needs to know what a great guy Kurt Stockhausen is.

I really really can't wait to get back to normal. Although "normal" is a relative term in regards to me.

-m

So that's what you are saying

2011-01-10T10:01:00.001-06:00

Ryan has been saying "Miami" a lot lately. I just figured he wanted to go on vacation or watch the E! channel. But it turns out he was really saying "Yum Yummy". I finally put two and two together, Miami always came out when it was food time. Yum Yummy makes much more sense.
He is also saying "Mommy" now. But only on request. It's mamamamamama until I ask him to say Mommy. Then he'll say it once and go back to mamamamama. Frankly it's a little freaky hear him say Mommy. I'm so used to the gibberish, actual clearly spoken words I'm not ready for. What if he starts asking me for stuff like money?

The Uncomfortable Phase

2011-01-07T12:23:00.000-06:00

Seems like this entire pregnancy has been in the uncomfortable phase. Now I'm finally to the point where I'm physically uncomfortable all the time. There is this spot in my ribs on my right side that hurts 24/7. It is very uncomfortable to sit at my desk. But the end of the day I'm usually leaning back in my chair with my computer in my lap. My belly is itchy and the winter dryness is making that worse. I have to pee allllllll the time now. Trying to sleep at night is futile. It's like a workout just trying to roll over. Little Junior is starting to run out of room as he plumps up. Before where I felt kicks and punches, now it's all knees and elbows.

Monday I will be at 30 weeks. Can you believe it? Only 10 weeks left. These are my last 10 weeks of pregnancy ever for the rest of my life. So even with all the comfort issues, still makes me sad.

Big Love, one of my favorite shows on HBO starts next week. I realized that season will still be going by the time I have Junior. The 10 weeks left marker is really starting to sink in. This little guy will be here before I know it! I can't wait for Ryan to meet his little brother. I can't wait to have a newborn in the house again. I really hope this one doesn't pee on me as much.

-m

My Birthday 2010

2011-01-06T10:20:00.000-06:00

I turned 36 between Christmas and New Years. Damn I'm old.

I had a great birthday this year. Got to have lunch and see a movie with my friend, Danielle. Kurt made me a birthday cake and a wonderful dinner. It's good to be me.

In the last 5 years so much has changed in my life. I'm a firm believer in making things happen for yourself. You cannot sit back and wait for it to fall in your lap. But at the same time, taking those leaps can be very scary. As my sage dad once said "It's the fear that makes it fun." I am so happy I made those leaps. They in themselves were an amazing experience. And they have brought me to where I am today. My life did not start when I met Kurt, but the best part of my life started when I met him.

And I fully plan to continue leaping. Watch out!

-m

Christmas 2010

2011-01-03T09:10:00.000-06:00

I have a back log of blogs in my head because I like to think of them when I'm no where near a computer.

So we will start at the beginning... the gross beginning. Christmas Eve Eve Ryan puked all over me. He spit up a lot as a baby and that never bothered me. But this was big boy puke. All. Over. Me. Not sure if he was sick or this was a random puking. The next day we concluded it was no random puking. He was puking more and had a fever. Stomach flu. Dun Dun Dunnnnnn.

Kurt got it Christmas Eve morning. We were suppose to head up to PA the night before but that was delayed, and then delayed again when Kurt got sick. He spend the day quarantined in the bedroom. Ryan was already feeling better by now.

Then around 4 pm on Christmas Eve I got it. Dun Dun Dunnnnnnn. I cannot speak for Ryan or Kurt, but let me tell you It Sucked! 12 straight hours of puking and diarrhea. Which caused contractions. Poor little Junior in there all helpless. I remember thinking "I'm so thirsty, but if I drink something I'll have to throw up again." I would convince myself I could just take the tiniest sip of Gatorade. But a tiny sip would turn into 3 giant gulps. And like clock work, it would all come back up 2 minutes later.

Ok, enough of the gross.

Skip to Christmas day. I arose from the germ room at 1 pm. Feeling somewhat human again, but still very weak. All the bags were packed 2 days before sitting there waiting. So we loaded up the car and were on the road to PA by 3pm. We celebrated Christmas a little late, but at least we got to celebrate it with the family.

Luckily, Ryan is still too young to understand Christmas and therefore was not disappointed by the delay. He's still just along for the ride.

Pee Contained - Crisis Averted

2010-12-21T10:34:00.000-06:00

I had my routine doctor appt. today. After I peed in the cup, I was standing in the hallway talking to one of the nurses and I told her the pee story. Including the look of horror on the other nurse's face. This nurse started telling me how people will spill their cups of pee when leaving them in the little cabinet, or not pay attention when setting them down. Then when the nurse opens the other side to retrieve said cup of pee, it is a "tidal wave of urine". That is the exact phrase she used. Which I thought was just awesomely visual. Tidal Wave of Urine.

I do love hearing horror stories from other people's professions. This nurse told me a few more good ones. I will not share here because my mom reads my blog and I would surely get comments from her. Hi mom!

Back to the doctor appt. Everything looks great. Junior's heart beat is nice and strong. I have another sonogram scheduled for the 29th (day after my birthday). This is the "old lady" sonogram. They throw in an extra one when you are 35 or older. And as of the 29th I will be "or older".

I am entering my 3rd trimester and to celebrate I feel asleep on the couch at 8:30.

-m

Sick Again

2010-12-16T13:40:00.001-06:00

I am sick with a cold.. again. I have been sick at least 50% of this pregnancy. And I'm not exaggerating either. I know, I know. I have a tendency to exaggerate here and there. But not this time. Poor Junior has been shaken up with my coughing off and on for months. I have tried to avoid taking medications. But I also need to function so I can do thing like take care of Ryan and work.

I'll be glad when I can have my immune system back. Junior is keeping it at a zero right now.

-m

Time Flies

2010-12-14T10:28:00.000-06:00

One Year Ago:

Amazing what a difference a year makes. And now Junior is on the way. Next year the pictures will tell a completely new story.

-m

Ya, I'm from Texas.

2010-12-08T13:40:00.001-06:00

This is my 4th winter in DC. Every year I think, it's been a couple of years, surely I've adjusted by now. Then I say "Don't call me Shirley."

But the answer is NO. I have not adjusted. It's freaking cold! I do not have the necessary skills to deal with this cold. I did buy an awesome coat my first year out here. Sadly it no longer zips over my belly. So I need to purchase a maternity coat. I was going to try and make it through the winter without doing that. But the first day of real cold and wind hit and I changed my mind immediately.

What's really bad is I have no idea what to do with Ryan. How much do I put on him? This morning I had him so layered up he could barely walk. I ended up carrying him to the car because he kept falling down. He reminded me of Randy from A Christmas Story. "You can put your arms down when you get to school." Poor Ryan with a mother who doesn't know what to do in cold weather. One more way for me to scar him for life. SCORE!

-m

#&(^%##^*

2010-11-29T14:09:00.000-06:00

Ryan has learned out how to open doors. He also learned a few new cuss words once I realized he can open doors.

We were in his room and I notice Ryan walking out the door. I was sure I shut the door. So I fetched him and shut the door again. Only to watch him reach up, turn the knob and walk on out the door. Shit!

Just a year ago he was this little, cute, sack of meat that pooped, ate, and cried. And now he's this person doing things on his own. Watching him learn and develop has been simply fascinating. I always wonder how these early years really affect who they are as they grow up. I certainly don't remember anything before age 5. I barely remember last week. So will he be THAT scarred if I dress him up in a tu-tu? Naaaaa. Not for a few more years anyway.

Junior is very low key in-utero. I am just now starting to feel him wiggle and kick. It is such a wonderful feeling. I'm 24 weeks now. Only 16 weeks until we meet the little guy. I'm so excited to have a baby in the house again. I think that is part of the reason I haven't been all weepy about Ryan not being a baby anymore... I know I get to smell that baby smell before too long. But I also love this age with Ryan. His little personality coming out. (and to all my repulican, right-winged family members, I'm not referring to "coming out") Not that there's anything wrong with that. =)

-m

2 Boys

2010-11-22T13:29:00.000-06:00

I'm going to have 2 boys. Which means is pretty much just poop and fart jokes from here on out.

To be honest, I'm quite relieved.

-m

We need a sample Mrs. Stockhausen

2010-11-19T11:34:00.000-06:00

I had my monthly OB visit on Thursday. They are all pretty much the same through the whole pregnancy. Pee in a cup, check blood pressure, listen to the heart beat and out the door you go.

Needless to say there is a lot of peeing in a cup. And let me tell you, towards the end of pregnancy peeing in that cup is not an easy task. With my doctor's office, it is literally that... a paper cup, no lid. (This is information you will need later) You write your name on said cup, fill it, and leave it in a little cubby for the nurse to get. Tip: write name on cup first. Much harder to do when it's full of pee. Since I was pregnant with Ryan, I have written my name and underneath written "Pee" just so there is no confusion. And let's be honest, this can get pretty routine and boring, I like to spice it up a little. Only once has a nurse noticed and laughed. But I keep hanging on for the comedy payoff.

So there I am with my cup o' pee. This is not a beer, I'm not gripping on to it like a tasty adult beverage. I holding it like you would hold a cup of pee. Delicately. And while I'm reaching for a piece of toilet paper..... I knock the cup of pee out of my own hand.

Pee. Everywhere.

Awesome. Lucky for me I was in a single bathroom, so no stalls for the pee to run into. There I am on the bathroom floor cleaning up all this pee. I guess the nurse got worried that I was taking too long and asked through the door if I was ok. "Just wiping up pee!" I yelled back.

Once I had cleaned up, I checked the cup and there was only like 2 drops of pee left. But I left in the little cubby for the nurse anyway.

As I exited the room, I told Nurse McStuffy-Britches what had happened and she got this look of horror on her face. I told her not to fret, I cleaned everything up. But seriously, really? Am I the ONLY person EVER to spill a cup of pee? I doubt it. Nurse McStuffy-Britches needs to relax a little.

I only left her with 2 drops of pee in the cup. And that was just going to have to do. I have a once a day limit on peeing in a cup.

-m

Hmmm

2010-11-17T15:56:00.000-06:00

I just noticed I have mentioned Ryan's hair in several blogs recently. I wonder if I have baby hair envy.

That goes there.

2010-11-17T13:16:00.000-06:00

This morning I found the flour sifter in the laundry basket in the bathroom. Of course, where else would it be? Makes total sense. I have been finding things in all sorts of random places lately. And a couple of things I can't find at all.

The first place I check is the toy box. Then check Ryan's laundry basket. Then look EVERY WHERE ELSE. He loves remotes. Looooooooooves them! I'm sure it's because he sees Kurt and me wielding our TV magic with them. Plus they are all blinky and shiny. So we are on a constant hunt for the remote. Ryan also likes combs and hair brushes. My brush has been MIA for about a week now. Who knows what little nook it's been shoved into. But it's so cute when he tries to comb his hair. He also tries to comb it with the TV remote. Good hair is important. Next up, to introduce him to the wonderful world of hair products.

-m

A Gift for Mommy

2010-11-14T11:57:00.000-06:00

While playing in the park today, Ryan very sweety came up to me and handed me a piece of poop. He even said "thank you" when he handed it to me. Thoughtful and polite. I have a feeling, raising two boys, this will not be the last time a piece of poop is handed to me.

Ryan does all the funny little things a toddler does. My favorite so far is when Kurt farts Ryan will make a fart noise back. I laugh everytime!

The other night while I was drying Ryan off after a bath, he had his hair brush and was brushing his hair. He tries to brush his hair with just about everything. But when he was done brushing his hair he proceded to also brush his twig and berries. Good grooming is important, even for boys.

-m

My belly is not a step stool.

2010-11-12T09:00:00.001-06:00

Ryan has figured out how to climb. And now must climb on everything all the time. All. The. Time.

Kurt stayed home with him yesterday since it was a govt. holiday and daycare was closed. He would sit on the floor and Ryan uses him as a step stool to get up onto the couch. Kurt said he did this about 300 times. Ryan has also taught himself how to get down off the couch. I watched him do this, he's sit down and scoot his butt up to the edge until he can slide off. So relieved he's doing it that way instead of his old way... walk off the edge and fall onto the floor.

When I dropped Ryan off at daycare this morning he ran over to the little slide they have, climbed up and slid down the slide face first. His daycare lady says he will go down the slide in all directions. Awesome. So for Christmas I think we should get him a climbing wall. He can go to town.

A Name For Junior

2010-11-08T15:19:00.000-06:00

My name suggestions have fallen on deaf ears at home. Both Chuck-Norris McBadass Stockhausen and Ninja Von Maximus Stockhausen have been vetoed.

I do believe we have agreed on a first name. It was not as easy this time around. And I'm not going to say with 100% certainty this is the name we going with, but at least we have a front runner.

Now for the middle name. I really want a cool middle name. A "I always wanted to name my kid that" kind of name. Turns out that's not so easy for a couple of reasons. 1. The name still has to work with the first and last name. and 2. Kurt feels he should have some input on the middle name as well. Men.

This will be my last chance to name a kid and I really want this name to count. Sure I can get a dog down the road and name him Xanadu or Conan The Destroyer. But it counts so much more when it's a human named Magnus Steel Stockhausen.

-m

Dear Junior

2010-11-01T09:14:00.001-05:00

I promise I will not compare you to your brother. Except for the first year. In that first year I will compare every little thing you do to Ryan. That first year is mostly eating, sleeping, and pooping anyway. As you will find out, teaching you to sleep will be a big priority to me. Ryan was a rough sell from the beginning, but now he sleeps like a champ. I'm know very well that you are a completely different person and what worked for Ryan may not work for you. And if you want to differentiated yourself, you might want to consider sleeping through the night all by yourself. You could be one of THOSE babies. I mean, if there is going to be competition between you and Ryan, this might be a good way to get a head start... I'm just saying.

We will compare other milestones, like when you roll over, crawl, walk, pay rent. But that does not mean your accomplishments are any less or more. I promise, once we get past this first year, no more comparisons.

-m

Birth. Take Two.

2010-10-28T13:19:00.000-05:00

I was talking with a friend today about how I'm forming a birth plan in my mind for Junior. My birth plan with Ryan was "Get him out." I'm going to be more specific this time around. With Ryan, I really had no idea what I was in for, so I was willing to roll with it. Now that I have done this once, I know better what I want and don't want. Granted, this is all taken with several grains of salt. I have to keep an open mind that plans will change once we're there. But it's nice to have some guidelines.

So here are my "plans" assuming Junior cooperates.

* No induction. Although I have this feeling that junior will be late and he'll need to be induced anyway.

* I want my midwife there. It didn't work out last time. She was on vacation the week Ryan was due, so just plain ole bad timing. But I have being going to this midwife since I moved here. I'm going to use her services by golly.

* I'm going to have a (if not several) big meals before we go to the hospital. I think it's complete crap that they don't let you eat. This is when a woman needs her strength the most, let us freakin' eat! I only had a small breakfast before we left to go have Ryan and I didn't get to eat until the next day.

* Since there will be no induction, I'm holding off on the epidural... but getting the epidural if I want. I felt those contractions with Ryan. That was not fun and I'm no hero. But I shouldn't need it right away if I go into labor on my own.

* As soon as the midwife or doc says c-section, insist on a u/s to see what the problem is. If I had known the cord was around Ryan's neck twice I never would have continued to push him out.

This is a fluid plan as things change quickly. But I think it's a good start. And I wanted to write in down since I have a terrible case of pregnancy brain and surely I will forget in 5 minutes.

-m

Oh my aching joints

2010-10-26T08:44:00.000-05:00

My hips bothered me with Ryan and they are bothering me with Junior too. But now it's also my wrist, fingers, back, and now my knee! I have been waking up in the middle of the night with my knee bent and it's super painful to straighten it back out... followed by a loud POP from my old and decrepit joints. But I'm not old and decrepit. Pregnancy makes me that way! I do not get into the "glowing pregnancy". I want the freedom to lift something heavy or drink a beer if the mood strikes. Plus it's getting hard and harder to set Ryan down in his crib. I'm going to start just tossing him in and hoping he makes a clean landing.

-m

Baby Brother!

2010-10-22T15:05:00.000-05:00

It's official. #2 is a little boy.

I can't remember if I talked about this before. But early on I have a full placenta previa, which means the placenta was covering the cervix totally. Baby has no way out. 90% of the time it moves out of the way on it's own. But that's not something they expect to happen until towards the end of the pregnancy. Well mine has already move out of the way completely. Which is great news at only 18 1/2 weeks. This is no longer a problem we need to worry about.

Jr. is measuring right on with his due date. Everything looks good and healthy. Happy little baby in there!

Here is a picture of Jr. sucking his thumb.

-m

What a great kid.

2010-10-19T11:54:00.000-05:00

This weekend some friends came into town. Saturday I loaded Ryan up and we all road the metro to downtown. Ryan was so great the entire day. And it was a long day. I know Ryan is a good kid, but even I was surprised at how easy going he can be. The train ride was long, it was very bright and windy out, he was confined to the stroller much of the time. But he happily road along taking in all the sites, taking a nap when necessary. Even on the train ride home he was in a good mood. Talking to everyone who would listen.
He really is quite the charmer. We are all in trouble.

-m

So Proud

2010-10-18T13:08:00.000-05:00

This morning Ryan woke up and I could hear him playing and talking to himself in his crib over the monitor. I laid there for a while listening and then clear as day he said his name. "R"s are not easy for toddlers. I was so proud. It may have been a fluke. He may not say it again until he's 14. But I got to hear it the first time.

Dear Ryan

2010-10-11T08:15:00.000-05:00

I just want you to know that at age 1 you put your clothes in the hamper. Granted, you put everything in the hamper. But that includes your dirty clothes. Please take note of this when you are 16.

You also attempt to brush your hair with the hair brush. Clearly you understand what the hair brush is for and make your best attempt to rake it across your head. I cut your hair today and for that I am sorry. It was starting to look like a mullet and we can't have that. But now you have a bowl cut. So really it was just a lateral move. I promise I will take you for real hair cuts before you are old enough to notice the other kids laughing at you.

Love Mama

Dancing

2010-10-08T08:41:00.000-05:00

Ryan has discovered dance. One of the little girls at daycare "dances" with Ryan all the time. But until he would just stand there looking confused. And now he gets it. He will bust a move when there is music playing. And I even caught him dancing with his little girlfriend this morning. Of course, we must keep in mind Ryan's heritage. Really he's just doing the white man's over bite.

-m

You can hold my hand....

2010-10-04T09:30:00.000-05:00

But you can't take away my FREEDOMMMMMMMMMM!

Ryan has been walking with me to and from the car while holding my hand. This has been going very well. He loves getting to walk and I love him not running into traffic. Going well... until the other day that is. I took him to the play ground and let him run around. He had such a great time running to each thing and touching it. Choosing where he got to next. So when we were walking back to the car, I took his hand like normal. Ryan would have none of it! He's had a taste of freedom. Why would he want to hold my hand when it's so much more fun to run off and touch (read: eat) things.

In the New Baby front, I have not tossed my cookies in 4 days! Throwing up in front of the school children was my last episode. I think I might finally be past this morning sickness! I have also not gained one single pound. I'm assuming because of the involuntary bulimia. But I really need to put on a little weight now that I'm already to 16 weeks. I'm still fairly selective about what I eat. So that is slowing me down some. Many, many things do not sound good to me. And I'm gun shy from all the puking... choosing my food based on how it is coming back up is no way to live.

-m

Special Blog Today

2010-09-29T09:01:00.000-05:00

I was going to write about puking in front of some school children today. But I'm saving that for tomorrow.

Today I'm going to write about my friend Allison. I know Allison from high school. And thanks to the magic of facebook we have reconnected.

Today is Allison's Lung Birthday. 2 years ago Allison had a complete lung transplant. I was not aware of this when it was happening. I have only read about it in her blog. But I'm so grateful someone out there was an organ donor so that this fantastic woman is around today. She is, by far, one of my favorite people and has a spirit like no other.

Be an organ donor!

-m

Seriously New Baby?!?!

2010-09-27T15:25:00.000-05:00

I'm 15 weeks along and still getting morning sickness... only the awesome all day long kind. I am not actually barfing as much as I was before. But I am still constantly nauseous and feel like I could puke at any minute. Which means I'm afraid to eat. I fear anything that might be unpleasant coming back up. As opposed to the food that is super fantastic coming back up. This is ridiculous and has gone on long enough! I demand you cut it out New Baby! Let me eat in peace.

-m

Do these pants make my diaper look full?

2010-09-21T08:39:00.000-05:00

This morning it was a little chilly out so I dressed Ryan in a t-shirt and pair of jeans, along with his little boy sneakers. He looked so much like a toddler and nothing like a baby. Sometimes I let him roll around in just a onesie so I can pretend he's still my tiny baby. But then he'll say "No!" run down the hallway and I'm again reminded that time is over.

While I was driving him to daycare in his cute little man outfit, the sun hit him and he sneezed. Blowing a huge wad of snot out his nose. I was driving, so I couldn't spin around and wipe up said snot. Which means he's going to rub it all over his face... it'll be all over the face, the arms, the hands. And with the rubbing, it's spread out. More surface area, it dries faster. So now I'm not just cleaning snot off 65% of his body... but dried snot!

Then I thought to myself, wait a minute. He's a big boy now, a toddler. And what is the perfect accessory for a toddler? Snot! The ensemble is complete.

-m

Boy or Girl

2010-09-17T13:39:00.000-05:00

I can't decide! Not that it's up to me anyway. But whether I'd prefer a boy or a girl, I'm totally split down the middle. Another boy would be great. I have a boy, so it's familiar territory. I have enjoyed Ryan thus far. I'm sure Ryan would love to grow up with a brother. Plus pee pees and balls are easier to deal with if you ask me.

But a little girl... awww a sweet little girl would be so much fun. Girls have a much better selection of clothes in the baby dept. A girl would mean one of each. So I get to experience all of it.

But 2 boys... imagine the mess, the tearing apart of the house when they are a little older. The rough housing, the torture.

Then again, a girl. The drama when she's older, oh the teenage years, boyfriends!

I can't decide!

-m

Didn't miss a beat.

2010-09-15T09:10:00.000-05:00

Last night Kurt and I were laying in bed and Kurt was talking about how he wasn't happy with his fantasy football team. Suddenly I grab my mouth, jump up, and run for the bathroom. Dinner was coming back up. And this was the movie kind of vomit. You know where they do the side shot of the face with the hose on the other side. Think Barforama scene from Stand By Me.

Anyway, I finish and get cleaned up. As soon as I opened the bathroom door, without missing a beat, Kurt picks up where he left off and continues on about his fantasy team. I guess he is used to the morning sickness now.

-m

What's in a name

2010-09-14T09:11:00.000-05:00

Ryan knows his name now. And I have noticed I say his name in an odd way. I say RY-Yan. Always making sure to clearly separate the 2 syllables. The older kids at Ryan's daycare pronounce his name as Yi-yan. Ryan will also now respond to yi-yan.

Kurt and I have randomly tossed around name ideas for this new one. But nothing is at the top of the list yet. The problem I'm having is, I had the name Ryan picked out long long ago. It is the perfect boy name in my opinion and no other boy name measures up. That is the main reason this one needs to be a girl. Girl names are so much easier.

This time around I will not be sharing the name we choose. When everyone already knew what Ryan's name was going to be, they would refer to him and to my belly as Ryan. And it just really weirded me out. Maybe it's a superstition thing. Who knows, but I did not like people using his name before he was born. So while I will announce the gender, the name will be a surprise until the end.

I keep thinking about how this one is already getting the short stick. He/she already has to share my blog with Ryan. Where as Ryan got a dedicated blog for the whole pregnancy and up to a year old. I guess that is the lot in life the 2nd one gets. Therapy here we come!

-m

Snap Crackle Pop Baby

2010-09-10T13:59:00.000-05:00

Early on in this pregnancy I bought a big box of Rice Krispies Cereal. I can't tell you how long it's been since I've had that cereal. But it sounded like the most perfect food in the world. And then a few weeks later I picked up a rice krispie treat bar. Oh my, I had forgotten how good those are. I have had some major food issues with all the morning sickness, but rice krispie treats have been by far the best thing ever.

Maybe I'll give birth to the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.

-m

New Baby

2010-09-07T09:34:00.000-05:00

The new baby does not have a nickname as of yet. Turns out Kurt disliked "Monkey" though I have no idea why.
So for now the new baby shall be known as New Baby.

I am officially in my 2nd trimester now. I know I have not talked about this pregnancy as much. I have been extra paranoid for some reason and wanted to wait until I was in the safe zone. And now that I am I can tell you this one has been ROUGH.

So much morning sickness. There have been several times I thought I was going to puke on Ryan if I didn't get to the bathroom fast enough. I have barfed all over my desk, in the living room, and many many times in the car now. It has not helped that I have had a cold that will not go away. And I'm sure that is adding to the puke count.

Things have finally slowed down enough to where I'm only puking once every other day or so. I have managed to fight it back the rest of the time.

I'm so excited about this New Baby. And I'm looking forward to Ryan and this one being close in age, 18 months apart. I hope they will play together and be close. I'm sure I will force the closeness upon them since I do not have any siblings and therefor have no idea how it's actually suppose to be. Now i kinda feel sorry for these 2 kids.

Mother's Intuition

2010-09-03T14:22:00.000-05:00

"Mother's Intuition" is just a fancy way of saying "the buck stops here". I did not come up with Ryan's bedtime routine, sing songs to him, figure out the best way to bathe him through Mother's Intuition. I did it because who else is going to? Seriously, the day I brought him home it really sunk in that when it came down to it, keeping him alive was up to me.

Please don't think I am discounting Kurt. Kurt is a wonderful father and does more than most I think. But Kurt will happily differ back to me when it comes to making a decisions on how things should be done. I'm completely fine with this. In fact, I prefer it. THE POWER!!!!!

But really, when it come to raising these little buggars, you settle into a "style" if you will. And that helps to guide all the rest of those little decisions you never, ever would have thought about before your brought a tiny baby home. Plus I think having a "style" helps set the rhythm and routines. For instance, routine is a big part of my style. Ryan has a standard daily routine. Not a set in stone, we will never deviate routine. But he can start his day feeling secure that it will be a lot like yesterday.

But I digress (shock!). There are things about raising Ryan that are instinctual. But i think the world in general does not understand the weight and responsibility that women accept... without question... once that baby is born.

-m

Warning: I'm going to use the word 'vaginally'

2010-09-02T11:07:00.000-05:00

I was seriously thinking about shutting down this blog because I don't wax poetically here like I used to. Plus, I don't think anyone still reads this anyway. But this is basically Ryan's baby book and it wouldn't be fair if I didn't do it for the second baby as well.

I had a great doctor's appointment this morning. I love my mid-wife. She was telling me that is it very common for women to be MORE paranoid and worried with their 2nd pregnancy than their first. It's like this feeling that they used up all their good luck with the first one. Which is exactly how I feel. So that made me feel a lot better.

Got to hear the heartbeat, right around 160, YAY! (maybe a girl???)

So I have been pretty sure I would have a c-section with this one because Ryan's birth was so rough. I have always felt like, because I insisted on having him vaginally instead of the c-section, it was my fault he came out not breathing.
But the more I think about it, the more I want to try it vaginally again so I can get it right this time. Also, no matter how you look at it, it's just not natural or desirable to have someone cut your baby out of you. I know I have some time to decide, but my fears of what happened with Ryan keep coming up. And then I go back and forth.

-m

And we're walking......

2010-08-31T08:27:00.000-05:00

Putting shoes on Ryan is like trying to put a bikini on an elephant. My little hippy kid is not a fan of the shoes. He will curl his feet up while I'm trying to shove them on. But he needs to get used to wearing shoes. At some point I'm not going to be able to carry him every where. At some point I'm not going to WANT to carry him every where. This last week I have made him wear shoes every day when it's time to go to daycare. I have also started putting him down and trying to get him to walk with me to the car once I get down the stairs. The first day you would have thought I had set him down onto hot lava. There was much screaming and it apparently just ruined his morning. Today he reluctantly walked with me about half way to the car. Once it was time to turn onto the side walk that was it. But it was progress and therefore I was proud. It's not like he doesn't enjoy walking... just not with shoes on. And who can blame him. When I have to wear shoes 95% it's flip flops. The rest of the time I'm barefoot. Shoes, much like pants, are over rated.

-m

2010-08-30T09:29:00.000-05:00

Ryan is trying to whistle now. There is no whistle noise, but he'll purse his lips and blow out air and a little spit. It's pretty cute.
We had a rough time over the weekend. Ryan had a high fever Saturday. The fever broke by Sunday, but then it was all about his teeth. The top 2 front teeth have come in, but I think ALL the other ones are trying to come in at the same time too. There was much inconsolable crying. Lots of little naps. Chewing on everything. Ryan was pretty fussy too.

-m

Ryan's Birthday Party

2010-08-23T15:04:00.001-05:00

Was a great success! We had it at the grandparent's house up in PA. Kurt's sister made a wonderful sesame street cake. Ryan was a champ all the way through. His long 2 hour nap before hand had a lot to do with that. And you could tell he enjoyed being the center of attention. I guess he takes after me after all.

-m

Happy Birthday Ryan!

2010-08-20T13:10:00.000-05:00

Holy Crap you are already a year old! You are just the most amazing little boy on the planet.

Mama Loves You!

Do you want fries with that?

2010-08-12T08:45:00.001-05:00

First of all, a big congrats to my friend Eileen who had her twins the other day. She had them at 34 weeks, and I swear those are the plumpest 34 weekers I have ever seen.

Welcome to the world Madeline and Matthew Jin!

Today's blog has nothing to do with Ryan. It's about restaurants. Being married to a chef, I consider food more than I used to. I will go out of my way now to have something good rather than something easy. With that being said, I am on the road a lot and I used to make an effort to try new places in my travels hoping to find little hidden gems. Stuff that would make the Food Network proud.

What I have found is this: For every "gem" there are 20 places that are NOT gems. That's a lot of crap food and very discouraging. Leads me to believe that the Food Network is going to run out of Diners Drive-ins and Dive before too long.

I have given up on my quest to find interesting little food places out on the road. Too many bad places have soured me. Literally and figuratively. Now I stick to the chains and places I know. Not at all the way I like to live my life, but my intestines are thanking me.

-m

Holly Jo

2010-08-06T08:39:00.000-05:00

Holly and I have been friends since 1982. For those who don't want to do the math, that is 28 years we have been friends. Honestly, I don't remember the moment Holly and I met. I just remember life before I was friends with Holly and life after.

Once when we were about 12 or 13 years old, Holly was telling me her dad got mad at her for spitting her gum into the yard. I guess it was getting caught up in the lawn mower when he cut the grass. I remember very clearly thinking "Spitting out your gum into the grass... WHAT A GREAT IDEA!" I couldn't believe I had lived my life up to that point not spitting my gum into the grass. And I still do it to this day.

There are thousands of Holly Jo stories, but I told this one because I recently spit my gum out into the grass.

I hope Ryan is lucky enough to have a life long friend like Holly.

-m

I'm back! No really! I mean it this time.

2010-08-05T08:43:00.000-05:00

I kind of "took the summer off" from the blogging. But I'm back now. Summer is actually a super busy time at work. Add that to an 11 month old who is in to everything and I am wiped out by the end of the day.

Ryan and I went to visit Danielle and Nathaniel last weekend. We drove down to VA Beach on Sunday. This was Ryan's first trip to the beach. And let me tell you, he HATED it! Just could not get past the sand touching him. How dare that sand! I stood with him on the shore line and let the water run up on his legs. Screaming. Then I sat with him on a blanket and when I would stand him in the sand, screaming. He was glued to me the whole time. There was some sand on his hand and he would just stare at it like he was expecting his hand to fall off at any moment. Nathaniel on the other hand, had a grand ole time running around playing in the sand! Ryan felt no pressure of rising to the challenge.

It started to rain, so I'm sure to Ryan's relief, that was it for beach time. We had a great time spending the weekend with the Stanleys!

-m

Eating us out of house and home.

2010-07-07T08:44:00.000-05:00

Suddenly my beautifully orchestrated bedtime routine is meaningless to Ryan. He is still awake after his bottle and some rocking. And when I put him down he just stands up and screams. Not cries, screams. If I'm holding him everything is hunky dory. But the second I lean to put him down "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

We know it's not a tooth because we have excepted that Ryan is the One Tooth Wonder. That is the only tooth he will ever have. Glad it's a good one, all shiny and white.

I think he is going through a growth spurt because the solution has been food. Two nights ago he had 2 bottles and the same last night. Giving him another bottle is not the first thing I do, so there is lots of rocking, etc before I give in and feed. I can tell you I'm not over feeding, both time he stopped drinking with an oz left. So he was full. Albeit he left a solider on the field. I will have to teach him this is unacceptable when it comes to beer.

-m

Hack, Cough, Sneeze

2010-06-30T15:47:00.000-05:00

We have all been very sickly lately. Which is another excuse for the lack of blogs too. In May, Kurt and I both got a terrible cold that went on for 3 weeks. We had a couple of weeks of health and then started dropping like flies one by one. First Kurt got sick, then Ryan. Which left me to take care of the both of them. I kept thinking, I'm so lucky I stayed healthy this time. But alas, no. I was last in line to get it. Kurt and Ryan both got antibiotics and were over it within a few days. But the doctor I saw diagnosed me from across the room and left me to fend for myself. So I have only gotten worse. I sound like Kathleen Turner. And not semi-hot Kathleen Turner from the 80's. But, haggard Kathleen Turner doing TV spots in drag in the late 90's. Anyway, you get my point (or you are just skipping past that last part). So I have yet another doctor visit tomorrow and will hopefully be back to my old self soon. 4 doctor visit in 1 month between the 3 of us. Mmmmmm bills.

Ryan is a walker now. Lots of stumbles and butt plops. But he's walking full force. Next thing you know he'll want to run, and then drive, and then, date. I did not ok this.

-m

Selfish Me.

2010-06-18T10:26:00.000-05:00

You may have noticed I haven't been blogging much lately. Danielle certainly let me know I have been slacking. I have been quite selfish with Ryan recently. I suddenly want to keep him all to myself and not share with anyone else. Maybe it's because I'm struggling with his transition from baby to boy. It's hard to watch him grow up everyday knowing that my little baby time is over with forever. Conversely it's such a joy to watch him grow every day as well. He is starting to take steps now. "Baby steps" And I am amazed to watch him play with his toys. He really plays with them. Ryan's new favorite thing to do is carry around his cars and pull himself up so he can drive them at eye level. The other day I was sitting on the couch (most likely texting someone) and Ryan was standing at the other end with a car. Next thing I knew he had "driven" the car over to me and was pushing it up onto my leg.

He is starting to show his independence by voicing his opinion. When it's time to get in the car seat and he's not ready, he lets me know he's not ready! Volume. We have discovered volume!

So I apologize for keep my baby to myself. How could I not share such a great kid.

-m

Wellness Check Up

2010-06-02T13:49:00.000-05:00

Ryan has his 9 month check up today. And let me just say how proud I am of my little guy. He was such a good boy, chatty, friendly, cooperative, not fussy. In fact the doctor said he was one of the best 9 month old's she has seen in a long time. She may have just been blowing smoke up my ass. But I was there, he was a good boy. Even when they were drawing blood... he didn't flinch, didn't cry, just watched.

He weighs 21lbs and measures 28 3/4 inches long. Right in the 70 percentile like he's been all along.

The wellness check up is cool because it is the baby's moment. The rest of the time, babies are babies among all the other babies. Yes, we all think ours is special and exceptional. But at the check up it really is just about your baby. You can talk about how awesome he is, everyone is focused on the stats of your baby, etc. Other people (besides you) are also all about your baby for 15 minutes. Unlike the rest of the time when everyone else SHOULD be all about your baby, but we all know they are not.

So I'm proud of Ryan. He left an impression... and a good one too!

-m

The ET Finger

2010-06-01T09:27:00.001-05:00

Ever since Ryan discovered he has hands, his little pointer finger has been in action. Just like ET "Oooouch" that pointer finger is extended touching everything. Or he's trying to tell us he's #1.

It's so cute and so weird at the same time. When he is exploring something new he will gingerly touch it with his finger, running it along the surface checking out the texture. He also explores my face this way. Constantly there is this little finger moving towards my face. Touch my nose, touch my cheek, touch my eye, finger up my nose.

-m

Cruisin' for chicks

2010-05-28T08:37:00.000-05:00

Ryan is cruising the furniture now. No has no interest in sitting or crawling anymore. We must stand or try to walk at all times. Anything that might afford him some balance he gets to and then gets up on his feet. He will also just flat out stand up on his own and balance for a good 10 seconds. Ryan really really wants to walk. And a great thing we have all noticed is that he doesn't get frustrated in the trial and error of learning. I hope this is a permanent quality.

I think I might go get Ryan another toy car this weekend. Even though I put a moratorium on toys since we have plenty. He loves his toys with wheels and will push them all around the house. Except for in the kitchen. Ryan is not allowed in the kitchen. For now I have decided it is easier to keep his out of the kitchen than to clean the kitchen floors as much as I should. That's right, I'm an awesome mom.

-m

What was I going to say?

2010-05-27T15:37:00.000-05:00

I spend a bazillion hours on the road now and think of all these brilliant blogs. But by the time I get back to my computer, I have forgotten. So I just wanted you to know if you were in the car with me driving all over creation, you would be regaled with awesome stories.

-m

You gotta make a call? You gotta call some people?

2010-05-24T11:52:00.000-05:00

Ryan also loves my blackberry. Maybe because he's noticed it's glued to my hand 99% of the time. What? Has it been 5 minutes? I should check Facebook. I mean someone might be getting new shoes or doing yard work and I won't know about it. I need to know these things!

Anyway. I clean it off, lock the keys and let him have at it. What are the rules for cell phones and older kids? Will Ryan be asking for an iphone when he can start talking? Back in my day, this was not an issue. I also had to walk up hill both ways... wait, that was my dad. I did have to earn having a phone in my room, which was quite often taken away. I was a chatty teenager. But this is a whole new era to raise children in. When will he want a phone? Is he born with texting skills? Maybe he learned how to text in-utero since that's what I did most of the pregnancy. If that holds true, then he will also be into Battlestar Galactica and birthday cake.

-m

Buy your own TV Kid!

2010-05-17T10:21:00.000-05:00

Ryan loves the TV remote. What a great idea to make remotes so appealing to babies with their buttons and lights. He will scale just about anything trying to get to the remote. And if I'm holding him while trying to change the channel, it's a pure battle of wills at that point. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I make Ryan watch the Housewives of New Jersey with me. I watch Sesame Street with him, so fair is fair if you ask me.

To solve this, I have cleaned and turned over one of the remotes to Ryan. This is now his remote to drool on. It's the TV remote, but we can also control everything from the cable remote. Every now and again Ryan will hit the correct buttons in the correct order and either turn off the TV or turn the volume ALL THE WAY UP!!! Nothing like a New Jersey Housewife at full volume.

Well Hello There

2010-05-12T10:22:00.000-05:00

Long time no talk. I hope everyone is doing well.

Much has happened since I last blogged. Ryan, Kurt and I went to Texas for a week. This was Ryan's first trip to Texas. And Kurt's first since he met me. He had not ever met most of my family. So we flew with Ryan to Dallas, changed planes, flew to Lubbock, rented a car, and drove to Muleshoe. Quite a haul to get out there from DC, but totally worth it. It was so great to see Ryan with my grandmother. She is still very spry. And my Aunt Peggy just ate him up! Ryan loved all the attention.

We drove through Crowell and left Ryan with my cousin, Martha Kay, while Don drove Kurt and I around the countryside. I was so great to show Kurt where I really come from. You can't understand it until you see it.

Finally we spent the rest of the week in Arlington at my parent's house. Let me tell you, it was so nice to say "hey, we're going to run to the store." knowing there was someone there to watch Ryan. I haven't been able to "run to the store" in forever! (8 months and 4 weeks).

My parents got some excellent bonding time with Ryan and he was such a good boy for the whole trip. So much so, it worries me. What's to come? If he's so good now when will the other shoe drop? Terrible twos? Teenage years?? I'm so screwed.

My Roots

2010-04-23T10:09:00.000-05:00

I have had this blog rolling around for some while in my head. Usually when I'm driving, which I do a lot of. But by the time I get back to the computer, I'm no longer in that place to wax on about who I am and what made me me. So we'll see how it comes out now.

What inspired all this was an NPR segment highlighting stories of mothers. Stories like 'my mother made me take a typing class when I was 15. I wondered why she would want to torture me like that, and now that I'm in my 30's I know exactly why.'

Got me wondering what I will do to Ryan and if he will understand it later on in life. What traits of mine will Ryan inherit or glean? What traits of my parents did I take with me? That is the real basis of this particular blog.

My mom and dad are very different. And I am a lot like my dad. But at the same time, those traits are easy to identify. The outgoing personalities, risk taking, humor. All of that is easy for another person to see, and frankly more interesting to talk about. But it's the traits you don't see, that's what I inherited from my mom; incredible inner strength, this fascinating love to combine math and art (which is how I make my living), patience. All these things I got from my mom. But I only just now realized the most important trait of them all... how to be a good mom. I learned everything I know about how to love my child from her.

Ryan is my kid... he's mine to raise, screw up, experiment with. When he does something amazing I can say "That's MY kid." When he does something ridiculous I will also proudly say "That's MY kid." But I have rarely considered the fact that as much as he is mine, I am his. His mom... forever. He will share in my accomplishments and failures as well. He will always be able to turn to me, or figure things out on his own and tell me about it later. I thought maybe this would make me want to change myself, how I do things. But I love who I am. It's a reminder to be true to myself always. So I am an example for Ryan to be true to himself.

-m

TEXAS!

2010-04-21T09:44:00.000-05:00

We are going home. Home for me. I can't wait. Now that the trip is close I'm getting so excited. I realized last night it's been 3 years since I have seen my grandparents. And who knows how many years since I have seen my aunt and uncles. Kurt will finally get to meet my whole family and see West Texas in all it's glory.

We are going to Muleshoe first. Yes, that is a real town. Ask any truck driver and they have been through Muleshoe. Then we are on to Crowell for lunch with my cousin Don and Martha Kay. Hopefully we'll have a little time to drive around so Kurt can see the land.

Finally, off to A-town. A whole week with Ryan's grandparents. He is at a great age for this trip. And this will be the perfect time to have Ryan tattooed with the Texas flag.

-m

I close my eyes and see poop. Everywhere.

2010-04-16T15:40:00.000-05:00

Ryan has had diarrhea. Oh lordy! The poop is everywhere! Poor baby. I know it can't be fun. And he has a diaper rash, a first for Ryan. He is getting lots of cream on his butt, pedilyte in his belly and snuggles when he's not covered in poop.

But who is the real victim here? Me! I have done 1000 times more loads of poopy laundry, more baths, gone through more wipes trying to get all that poop off. Poop on my hands, my clothes, my hair (don't ask). No one should ever produce that much poop.

I miss those little solid nuggets he was shooting out at lightening speed. I will gladly chase a poop bullet across the room than try and hold up a wiggly 8 month old boy to keep him from getting coated in poop.

Green poop, brown poop, runny poop, stringy poop, smelly poop.

I'm pooped. (bad joke)

Edit - Feel bad for Kurt too. He is just as deep into the poop as I am.

-m

He calls me "Eh-mommmma"

2010-04-15T08:53:00.001-05:00

Ryan has finally started saying Momma. When he says it there is an "eh" sound attached to the beginning. So it sounds like "Eh-momma" or "emma". I'm Emma. Awwwww. Isn't that sweet! I have a name. And it's mispronounce in only the cute way a baby can mispronounce a name.

He has been saying his b's a lot lately. "Ba ba ba ba" and lots of raspberries. Which is totally fun when he has a mouth full of peas and it sprays all over me.

Ryan likes to be pulled up onto his feet now. And he will grab onto my pant leg and try to pull himself up. I'm really surprised at how quickly he's moving towards walking. I figured he'd be content with crawling for a while. I know I would be ok with it if he just crawled for a while. Do we really need to start walking soon? The answer to that is no. Am I ready to move the liquor to a higher cabinet? The answer to that is no. It so much easier to reach it when you're laying on the ground in a drunken stooper.

-m

Sleep

2010-04-12T11:33:00.000-05:00

I love Sleep. I sleep whenever I can. I was not always like this. Back in my twenties my moto was I'll sleep when I'm dead. Apparently by "when I'm dead" I meant my mid-thirties. Now I will take any opportunity to sleep. If Ryan naps, I lay down. If I'm up later than normal I scold myself for not taking that time to sleep. How could I waste sleep time?!?! Mmmmmm, sleep.

Ryan has been sleeping like a champ! I'm so proud of him. He is a good natured boy which makes us very lucky parents. I'm sure karma is standing behind the door waiting to pounce!

-m

SAY MY NAME!

2010-04-09T10:54:00.000-05:00

The last few days I've been getting random "Momma"s from Ryan. But it's usually when I'm feeding him. So what does that mean? After every bite Ryan says "Mmmmmmmmmmm" so I suspect it's not really "momma", but more of a mispronounced "Mmmmmm". It is cute though.

-m

I'm going to touch this over here!

2010-04-08T09:14:00.000-05:00

Ryan is getting good at the crawling. We forget he's a crawler now. Before Kurt and I could leave him on the mat and go into the kitchen for a minute. Now when we come back he's across the room. Ryan loves the entertainment center and DVD's. Eventually I'm going to move the DVD's to a closet because I'm pretty sure I will get tired of putting them back over and over.

This weekend we are going to the zoo with my friend, Danielle and her little boy Nathanial. Ryan and Nathanial have met several times, but were both oblivious to it. Because they were little babies and didn't care about much except for eating, sleeping, and the occasional BM. But now I'm wondering if they will notice each other. Will they care? Will this be a scenario where the mom's are friends and therefore the kids have to hang out with each other whether they like it or not. You remember that. It's happened to all of us.

What is this 4 am BS?

2010-04-06T09:22:00.001-05:00

For the last 4-5 days Ryan has been waking up at 4 am. That's entirely too early! The first couple of nights I or Kurt got up with him. But last night and the night before I let him cry. And eventually he went back to sleep on his own.

He is SO MUCH MORE MOBILE these days! Several times I've gone into his room to find him awake and up on his knees gripping the side of the crib. As if to say "Let me out of this prison!" I will try to lay him down and he POPS back up. He definitely understands that he is in control of this now. Occasionally if he won't lay down I just leave him in the crib sitting up. Eventually he'll get tired and lay down on his own.

I fully expect to go in the one day and find Ryan raking a tin cup across the bars of his cell. I need to get some prison striped pj's.

-m

Happy Birthday Heather Mae

2010-04-05T15:54:00.000-05:00

Heather (Mae Mae as I call her) had her son in December of 2008. She has been such a great support for me while I try and figure out this parenting thing. Last weekend I flew down to Texas for Heather's surprise birthday party. I still tear up when I think about her face when she pulled of the mask. What a great moment!

As I was in the airport waiting to come back home Kurt put Ryan on the phone and he "talked" to me. That made me tear up too! That little baby voice through the phone. I just love him so much. I travel... a lot. And I hate being away from Kurt and Ryan. I will admit, once and a while it's nice to have a hotel room to myself. But I would always rather be home with my men. I'm so proud of our little family.

And soon I will be bringing them all to Texas! Kurt's first experience in TX will be Muleshoe. Should be interesting. Then we are on to Crowell and Arlington for the rest of the week. I wish I could brand the Texas flag on to Ryan somehow so he'll always know he's truly from Texas. But I'm pretty sure that won't go over well, so I'll just tell him... over and over and over.

-m

New Daycare

2010-04-02T08:49:00.000-05:00

I have not written about Ryan's daycare much since this is a public blog and "anyone" can read it. And by "anyone", I mean the 5 of you who read it. So I will be changing names to protect the innocent.

Ryan started his new daycare yesterday. He has been in daycare since he was 6 weeks old. But I still had a hard time dropping him off yesterday. I had to cry in the car for a few minutes after. He was in the old daycare for the first half of the week and the new one just for Thursday and Friday. I did it like this so Ryan has a couple of days to get used to the new place and then a weekend at home to relax. This week turned out to be the perfect time. Since Easter is near there was only 1 other kid there at the new daycare. I think this will make it much easier on Ryan. The other kid is a 15 month old little girl. She just LOVES Ryan, calls him Baby!, gives him hugs and kisses. She will lean up next to Ryan, put and arm around him and ever so gently give him a hug. Ryan will tolerate it a few times, but then starts to get fussy when ever she tries to hug him. So Ryan is either not a hugger, or not into girls.

Happy Easter everyone!
-m

The Whispering Baby

2010-03-31T12:09:00.001-05:00

Not to be confused with the Baby Whisperer.

I can't remember if I have talked about this before. But it's so cute, I'm willing to risk being repetitive.

Ryan will whisper to himself "Dada" over and over. It is possibly the sweetest thing ever. He doesn't do it with any other word or sound. Just this tiny, tiny, sweet 'dada'.

When Ryan is 16 and sneaks out of the house (because I hear that sort of thing is hereditary) I will try and remember these adorable moments when he was my little baby... and then I will ground him.

-m